So Kevin got what he wanted, Kevin got what he longed for. I got my get away, and I am loving it.
For those of you who might hate me now or whatever, listen:
I got sick of feeling ignored, and at the same time I hated the attention, whatever that is. Somewhere along the line came this desire to be alone, for the most part. But with that, I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it and keep some degree of sanity… so I know I also need some form of contact/interaction with others. Then somewhere along the line, I was just like screw it all and wanted to leave, partially because of my mom, partially because I felt sick of it (Anh, etc. etc.)… So I really started pushing everyone away. Well, mostly everyone. I also figured it would be better off that way because if I left, people would be like fuck him or something and it would not be as big a deal or something. At least that is what I hoped, I suppose. I did think about how much it might affect people that I am close-very close to. But I also figured, whatever happens happens. People lose people all the time. How is this any different? I thought about a lot. Things I like/love about Metro, things I will miss out on that I have waited so long and eagerly for… IB, the lock-in, … everything happens junior year. Plus, after that episode at the ‘06 meeting, I felt as if if I were to leave, I would have some serious unfinished business. Just a lot. Everything tied in with everything else, or ties in, rather. Then I guess my moods would feed off everyone else’s, and vice versa… this sort of synergy, but a type of negative synergy. The distanter I would (try to) become, the more I heard stuff, etc.
That is essentially what the deal is, or was. Also keep in mind that is from a transcript of a conversation I had with someone, which has been modified for context.
Hate me, loath me, love me. Whatever.