After school, sitting in the window, I was gazing out and noticed Shawn begin his run. The thing that angers me most is that I began to run after him - I literally dropped everything I was doing, Trapp homework at the time.
I stopped, recoiled after I realized how far he runs and the pace at which he does. I sat back down and shared a thought with Jewell, a scenario in which I would run with him, but like a block into it I would get all winded and “collapse” into the grass, ideally the hilled landscape of those apartments down the block from Metro. He would offer his hand in assistance. When he does, I would pull him down. (I should not have to describe the position we are in at the moment.) Initially, he would be hesitant, somewhat resistant, but that hesitance would not last long. And you get the idea from there.
I missed his return and only realized that he did when he came upstairs. Frustrated, I just so happened to yell Crap, I missed it! Jewell tells me that he turned and looked at me. I think he is on to me. I find that ironic, or something of the sort, as I am not even on to myself.
More and more I have the desire to get out of this city (read: state). Maybe it is not the issues per se, but more of a curiosity thing. What lies beyond the borders of Missouri, U.S.A? I overheard that a friend of my mom is moving to Florida, and I thought to myself Florida sounds nice. Maybe I just want to experience something new. Maybe those issues are driving me away, but maybe it is also the desire for new experiences. Maybe it is my desire for a new start.